nut hugger
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
