Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You made out with two different species that night
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
