somebody snuck up and got me drunk
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
