I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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