So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
