yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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