Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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