i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Green mimosas i think yes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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