Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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