So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
