Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
