Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
