haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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