it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
