shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Sext me about skeletons
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
