eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
