Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
