yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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