She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
