i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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