hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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