Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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