respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
