Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I need help removing her.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
