Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
