it's like iHOP with fire
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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