I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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