he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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