the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
