I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
