he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Is it penis luge time yet?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
