is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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