In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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