Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
