I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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