dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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