I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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