if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
