? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
