im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
