Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
