i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I CAN MOONWALK!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
