if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
