I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
