she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize