hell yes lets make some ravioli
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize