I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
