As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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