Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
