would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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