ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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