38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
