That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
