Apparently you make a good broom.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
