So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
