When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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