i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
