She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
