Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
