Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
they're like a gay fantastic four
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize