It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
