You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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